Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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