I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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