do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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