I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
