He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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