Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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