oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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