I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
