i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
