I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
