There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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