That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.