There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
