This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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