im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
