just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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