I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
