I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
