Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize