so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
