Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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