Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
