what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
