this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
