dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
