Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am available for nakedness
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
