I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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