My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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