I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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