I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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