you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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