I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
