It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
