Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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(858): View more from California

I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.

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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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(914): View more from New York

Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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(801): View more from Utah

Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

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(269): View more from Michigan

Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

well ya only live once...

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do

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