im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You pole danced in your parka.
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I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk