How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
