i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do