all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
