How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
