i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
