he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
