Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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