We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
