There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
