you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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