don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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