Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
