My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize