put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
