South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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