are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize