What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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