that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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