I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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