I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
