My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize