you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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