don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
