I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
