butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
