You're my little dorito
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
