He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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