bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
