butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize