Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
