In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My vagina just recognized that song.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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