i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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