So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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