The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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