oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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